Heart Without A Home
by howtosavealife
Summary: What If the heart is left wanting more....
1. Heart Without A Home

**Heart Without A Home Lyrics**

Girl I love to watch you  
You're like candy to my eyes  
Like a movie that you've seen  
But you gotta watch just one more time  
But that smile you're wearing  
It's a beautiful disguise  
It's just something you put on to hide the emptiness inside  
And you seem so lonely

But you don't have to anymore..

Chorus

If you're a heart without a home  
Rebel without a cause  
If you feel as though  
You're always stranded on the shore  
Like a thief in the night  
Let me steal your heart away  
Baby if a reason's, what you're looking for  
I'll be yours

I'll be yours

You'll need a new sensation  
One you never had before  
I got a feeling if I gave you some  
You'd probably want some more  
Did you know that Baby  
You're the bluebird in my sky  
I only wanna make you happy cause  
I love to see you fly

And if you feel lonely  
You don't have to anymore

Chorus

I'll be yours, I'll be yours

I'll be the raft in the tide  
I'll be yours  
I'll be the truth in the lie  
And what's more  
When no one opens the door  
I'll be the hope that you're looking for

Chorus


	2. Speechless

Meredith sat and waited, waited for Derek to call her and tell her that everything would be ok and that he would leave Addison and that her pain would go away. But that never happened, he never called her, he never took her pain away, he left her stranded wanting more.

_You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done! _

He let her go the moment her called her a whore, it was like her newly built heart was shattered into a thousand tiny pieces and all the hope of Derek coming back to her was gone, he was gone.

_You left me. You chose Addison. …..I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore._

The conversation that was shouted out between him and Addison was still fresh on her mind. Did he really wish that Addison was her?

_Maybe_ _what I should do is go out on a date with the vet, because that seems to be something that sends you into a blinding rage. Oh, but wait. That won't work either because I'm not Meredith Grey._

She sat there looking at the box of memories that he had left behind when his wife came.

She look at the photo album of them that he had gotten her as a birthday present weeks before Addison decided to show up.

Her particular favourite picture, was when the were on the ferry boat with the rest of the group, Izzie was being all perky when she saw the two of them standing kissing and cuddling so she decide to take snapshots of this and they ended up in this album.

No one knew the secret pain that Meredith went through everyday, wishing hoping that Derek would come home to her…

_No one new. _

All of Meredith thoughts were interrupted when Cristina came barging through her door.

"Ok, why is it dark in here and why does it smell like Mc Dreamy," She blurted out

What she had not seen was the redness of Meredith's eyes and her puffy cheeks from all the tears she had let fall.

"He called me a whore, all of the hope I had is now gone, every chance I thought I had is gone." Meredith cried.

"Oh," was all Cristina could get out, for once in her life Cristina Yang was speechless.

Cristina had stayed with Meredith that night, afraid that have a breakdown. So she slept in the same bed and at 3am she was awoken by the gentle sobs of Meredith, Her body lay there shivering and letting out all of her emotion all Cristina could do was hug her.

Meredith had to be at the hospital by 5am, she was awoken by the shrill sound of her alarm. She got up and head for the shower. As the roasting water hit her body she let out a sigh.

She wished that water would wash away all her pain and sorrow, she wished it would. But instead of standing and feeling sorry for herself she decided that today was a new day and that this would be the day that Derek shepherd would not even be a blip on her radar.


	3. Time

Meredith and Cristina walked into the foyer of Seattle Grace, both had what happened last night fresh on their minds. Both interns had 20min before rounds had to start so they decided to grab some coffee.

As they approached the coffee cart the noticed a certain neurosurgeon standing by the coffee cart.

"I can't face him," Meredith whispered

"Yes you can Meredith, he is only going to buy coffee I would be surprised if he had the nerve to talk to you after yesterday," Cristina replied.

But for once she was wrong Derek shepherd was heading straight for their direction .

"Ehrm, Meredith I was wondering if I could have a word with you," Derek asked nervously.

"You think that she would want to talk to you after what you called her yesterday, Piss off Mc Dreamy!" Cristina spat at him

"No, I want to here what he has got to say Cristina so, I will catch you at the intern locker room," Meredith spoke up.

"Fine but if you hurt her so help me, I don't care if you are my boss." with that she walked away.

The café was too noisy to talk in so they decided to head to the roof. Once they got on the roof Derek was the first to speak up.

"Meredith, I know I hurt you in a way I never thought I could, but I was so angry because I let you go, I did choose Addison, but the thing is my heart was torn apart by her a long time ago and the truth is she gave me it back. Then I met you, I fell in love with you. That night when I showed you my trailer I gave you my heart and I never got it back. I love you Meredith Grey more than life it's self. Last night I sat thinking for hours and hours when Addison came in her cheek was stained and she had an envelope in her hand that contained divorce papers, Meredith addi and I are over," Derek said

"Derek I love you so much it hurts, I cried for you when you left, I sat and waited by the phone hoping that you would call and tell me you loved me, that photo album that you gave me for my birthday is practically ruined now the amount of times I have read it and cried over it, even though you left me, even though you chose Addison, I still love you,"

She gently leaned over and kissed him soft. It was quick. Kind of like a habit

" But I don't know if I am ready for you in my life, please Derek all I need is some time and if you wait for me I will know that you mean every word you just said" Meredith said and left

**Please read and review**


	4. New Chance

_Have you ever loved somebody so much  
it makes you cry  
Have you ever needed something so bad  
you can't sleep at night  
Have you ever tried to find the words  
but they don't come out right  
have you ever, have you ever_

That is all Meredith needed was time. Derek has broken a place that she never thought could be broken. When he chose Addison he ripped a piece out of her that caused her to become Dark 'n' Twisty, but when she really thought about it Derek was the only one that she could see her spending the rest of her life with. She needs time.

When she went to the locker room she found George, Izzie, Cristina and Alex they were all laughing and joking about something which Meredith hoped wasn't her.

_Have you ever been in love  
Been in love so bad  
You'd do anything to make them understand  
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away  
You'd give anything to make them feel the same  
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart  
But you don't know what to say  
And you don't know where to start_

"Hey Mer," They all said in unison.

"Hey," she replied.

"Ok , People yang- scut, grey-shepherd, O'Malley – Torres, Karev- Montgomery, Stevens Your with me" bailey said

"Did She say Montgomery" was the whisper all around the room

"Do I look like your gossip tell" bailey screamed at them

"Uh..h,"

"GO SAVE LIVES" with that they all ran out of the room

Meredith spent the rest of the day doing paper work for Derek as he had no surgeries. But all that was running through her mind was:

_I love him so much but does he deserve a second chance. _

Then she thought about her mother and how heartbroken she was when the chief left her for Adele.

_But he left Addison, maybe a little late but he still left her._

Meredith decided enough was enough she was going to be happy.

_Have you ever found the one  
You've dreamed of all of your life  
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes  
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to  
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you  
Have you ever closed your eyes and  
Dreamed that they were there  
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care_

Derek was standing by one of the nurse station's filling out a patients chart. Meredith walked up to him with a huge grin on her face.

"Dr Shepherd there is a patient that needs to be check at in exam room 2303" Meredith said

"Ok, well let's check them out," Derek replied

When they reached the room Derek figured out that there was infact no patient.

"Dr Grey, why am I here?"

" The reason you are here is because I don't need time, Derek I love you so much it hurts but some how even though you have broken me so many times you are the only one who can properly fix and heal me" She said with tears in her eyes

"I…" but before he could finish she crushed her lips against his. The kiss got heated very quickly but before they could go any further Meredith pulled away.

"If we are doing this, we are doing this right, no sex , I want romance also strict professionalism at work and we cannot tell people about us at least for a while." Meredith said

"Ok" Derek said

He leaned into kiss her again but his pager bleeped 911 .


End file.
